Judas

 I have committed no crime to compare

yet still

my heart cries out to him

survive!

do not deny him once again!

live still, and 

speak his name with tenderness

christ forgave the hands and spear which pierced his side

how much more would he forgive thee!

I wish, in moments of clarity,

pleading with Judas to yet live, 

I could hear the same words

echoed back at me

Live! And yet utter his name with tenderness!

As the Lord does utter yours in heaven!

pink feathers

"they're real!" a little girl shouts

Running at the flamingo enclosure 

I wish I was her 

Finding out the Lord made room for pink feathers

desperation

I've never know time by her name

Never flown and let myself drown

How could I begin to guess the seconds of sand given to us

Like stars, numberless in the heavens 

I was promised a lifetime

To God that means anything

I'm beginning to feel like forgiveness is weighing

I need to let go

Before I become someone anew

Before I drown the parts of me that need forgiving with you

 

I was promised a lifetime

Nobody knows what that means

I can't say I forgive you

So here you are

Dying

Always getting the last word

spring 2019

religion

will not be contained within letters

it will not even be contained within me

religion                                       

in itself                            

can become containment if we allow it to be                     

       I've become a hollow religion                       

seeking the sanctity of hallowed ground                

I'm becoming an empty container

thinking that what I was meant to hold will save me

               stagnant

                            remnants

                                          cling to my walls

I hoard them jealously                                                                         

and don't understand                                                     

perhaps I did once

maybe I never have